Self Criticism is Delusional

I opened my art business in March of this year, and in two months, I sold 30+ original pieces of art.

For me, that was an indescribable moment.

Three years prior, I took a watercolor course, but stopped painting much after that. I became distracted, then felt defeated in starting again, and convinced myself, “I wasn’t that good anyway, painting is just not for me.”

Ha.

Now looking back, I realized that the greatest delusional story we commonly tell ourselves is that we aren’t meant for something because it feels initially hard, awkward, and unfamiliar.

I created and sold more art than I ever thought I would in two months, but I spent 20 years beforehand believing I would never be able to connect with painting, make art I love, and share it with others. For a long time, I thought that my artistry was limited in nature, and that the challenges I felt MEANT something about me and what was possible. It is simply not true.

Once I started painting again in January of 2025, I was able to put together the pieces of my journey, and make sense of the years of idle creativity.

I did not wake up on a random day knowing I could paint. It took years for me to grow into a person who chose to approach life with curiosity instead of judgement. I grew into a person who learned to love the challenge of being a beginner, instead of a burdened perfectionist. I grew into a person who could hear her own intuition louder than the volume of culture and expectation.

I became a kinder person in my approach to everything, and that was the main catalyst in relearning how to trust creativity again.

When I paint these days, I can’t believe how enriching it feels. Everything I make is a result of choosing to show up as I am, at my easel consistently. I still get frustrated when I make “strange, pointless art” that doesn’t feel connective. I still feel confused when I can’t grasp a technique or progress with a vision (oceans and skies are still very hard for me to paint). But I keep leaning into compassion and curiosity, even when I feel defeated. And I keep holding out hope that all this art will continue to reshape and change me, for the better.

It’s true what they say: if you are only fulfilled when you reach goals and outcomes, you’ll suffer through the whole journey.

Creativity is our intrinsic knowing. It is our pulse. A life-force meant to free us, soften each moment, and bring vitality to our being.

There are so many ways we live as creative expressions of our values and truth.

Don’t let the voices of critics and culture stifle you. Keep showing up for your creative self- artist dates really do work, *nudge nudge.*

Much love to you.

Make art of out life (and tell me about it!).

Aloha,
Melinda